Day 6

Kayden improved quite a bit yesterday. He still had two treatments and two suction sessions last night but he still seems to be improving today. They took off his oxygen this morning and when he is awake he stays in the mid 90's. 100 is perfect and they don't like them to be under 88. He is sleeping right now and we are really testing him without oxygen while he sleeps because your oxygen levels tend to drop when you sleep. He is sitting at 88 right now. Everytime he goes uner 88 the alarm sounds but for about the past 45 minutes he has been sleeping he bounces back from 86 to 92. This is a really good sign that he is sleeping and maintaining a good level. They tell us his lungs are sounding better, not so tight and not so wheezy.

Last night you could tell that he was starting to feel better. He is so sick of having air tubes and monitor wires on him. He has started to put up a fight when they come in and listen to him, or take his vitals where before he was so weak he would just sit there and allow them to do whatever to him. He decided last night that he was fed up with the breathing tubes so he took ahold of them and yanked them out! They are attached to his cheeks with sticky things that are really hard to get off but he pulled so hard he detached one side completely. I am happy to see he is regaining his strength and starting to come back to his old self! The doctor is supposed to come and check on him in a little while, but he hasn't had a breathing treatment since about 10:30am. :)

Day 5

Well it's day 5 and guess what, Kayden is staying another night. Last night wasn't such a great night for him and he was restless and congested. He hasn't had much of a fever the past 2 days so that is good, but his eyes and ears are really goopy and bugging him. He is such a trouper. I sent Nick home to sleep because he is going to fall over. He sent me home last night a little before midnight because I can't stop watching the oxygen monitor and every time Kayden rolls over his tubes fall out of his nose and the alarm goes off because he drops under the 90 mark. So, if I stayed I wouldn't sleep at all. Nick is so much better about that, he just gets up fixes it and goes to sleep where i kinda freak out a little. Anytime the monitor goes off I jump and run over there. I am such a stressball about things like that. I know he is in good hands and the staff is monitoring him all the time but I just get so worried that he isn't getting air and something is wrong.

My work has been so understanding. I am not coming back until he is home and well. I can't be away from him when I know he needs me here. He has become such a snuggler and so lovey. He just wants you to hold him and he lays his head on your shoulder and sleeps. He is asleep right now, and I just sit and watch him just hoping the sleep will help him feel better and get better faster. I have decided now that I am just going to take it one day at a time. It's the only way I am ever going to make it through this with my sanity.

Day 4

I went to work this morning at 8:00 and I left at 8:30. My boss saw that I wasn't doing super hot and he told me to go be with my son. When I got to the hospital this morning about 10:00am Kayden was the worst I had seen him so far. He now has two ear infections and is leaking green goop from his eyes. His eyes were swollen and he was so congested. I didn't think it could get any worse, but it did. As the day has gone on he has really seemd to start to feel better. They put him on Zithromax this morning for the infections in his ears and to help clear up his eyes. Either it is the medicine working or he may be over the hump. I took his oxygen off for a few min while he was playing and he stayed over 90 which is great! He is napping now and I am hoping that we are on the down side of this. I want my baby boy to come home. I will keep you posted. Thanks for everyones support.

Update

I'm at home tonight and my baby boy is still in the hospital. I feel so utterly empty inside. It's like someone has my heart in their hand and they are squeezing it over and over again. I can't even explain how bad it hurts knowing I can't just go in the next room and see him. I am going to attempt to work a half day tomorrow, but I am not sure I will make it. If he does bad tonight I am not going in, but I really thought I should try. Ok, heartbreaking story time.

Ever since Kayden was born I have waited and waited for him to say mama. There is just something about the first time a child calls you mom that is so special and I couldn't wait until he said it. I have tried over and over to get him to do it but he just won't. There have been a few times when he has muttered something close to mama, but he has never really actually said it ...that is, until today. Every couple of hours the nurses have to come in and give him a breathing treatment to open his lungs, but before they do that they stick a tube down his nose and into his throat to suction out the junk. I have to leave the room because one I have a very weak stomach for those types of things and two I cannot stand to hear him cry and be in pain. I truely breaks my heart. The last time they suctioned him out I stayed close enough to where I could hear him and as I left the room and they laid him on the bed to start he very clearly cried out for me "MA MA, MA MA" and I just broke down in tears. He wanted me to help him, he was calling for me to come back because he knows when I leave the room they are going to have to do it again and he hates it.

Sometimes in life we get caught up in things and we forget what is really important. I think this has really taught me a lesson that it doesn't matter what you have, or how nice of things you have, or any of that crap. All I want is for my baby to be home and my husband to be home and for everyone to be healthy and running around the house playing. I would do anything for that.

Nick has been so wonderful. He is definitely the strong one when it comes to this stuff. He has been without sleep for a week now and he is tired but he pretends he's not, not because he is Mr. tough guy, but because he doesn't want me to worry and he wants to take care of it all. I don't know where I would be in my life had I never met Nick. He is my backbone and I depend so much on him. Sometimes I don't tell him enough how much I love him and how much I notice all of the things he does. I must be the luckiest girl in the world to have someone like him.

I really hope this is over soon.

Day 3

Well it's day 3 and Kayden is still in the hospital. He had a pretty good night having a breathing treatment about midnight and then not again until 7:00am-the longest span so far. Although, about half way through the night his oxygen levels dropped and he was put back on oxygen. This morning about 10:30 they tried to take him off of it to see how he would do and he dropped again, so they put him back on it. The tubes really seem to make his nose itchy and they bother him. The poor little guy-I just want to take him home to his own bed and to his house.

I had kinda a rough morning and have had an emotional day. It is so hard to see someone you love so much so miserable. He is such an amazing little guy and it breaks my heart to have him like this. I just want to help him but there isn't anything we can do really. They had hoped he would be released this morning but with all that has gone on today we are still here and don't know when we are leaving. I asked the doctor how much longer he will be like this and although they say it shouldn't be too long, they aren't completely sure. Most kids go home the next day, and we are on day 3 now.

Nicks parents are in town, and I talked to Nick's dad on the phone today about giving Kayden a blessing. They stopped in on their way to church and he had a member of the church help him perform the blessing. Although I am not LDS, it does make me feel better inside, and a blessing is still a blessing no matter what religion you are. It really helped me to feel a little more at ease.

So, we will just hang in there and keep a good eye on our little man. I will keep you posted on how things go.

Another fun weekend

Thursday Kayden woke up with a wheeze. I couldn't believe how bad it was but Nick and I decided that we both had missed a lot of work lately with being off for the Holidays and Kayden being sick so much these past few months, so we went to work. Chrissy kept a good eye on him and that night I took him in to see his doctor. The listened to him and were concerned with his breathing so they gave him a shot of steroids in his leg to help open his airways. I took him home and he had a rough night because he was having a hard time breathing.

Yesterday morning we got ready for work and I just didn't have the heart to leave him. I stayed home with him so that I could watch him throughout the day. When Nick got home and things weren't any better we decided we should take him to the Emergency Room. We took him to Orem Community where they gave him a breathing treatment, took some chest X-rays and swabbed him for RSV. The doctor seemed concerned that he was having such a hard time breathing, his wheezing was to the point that you could hear him breath from down the hall in antoher room.

They gave us the option to take him home with a nebulizer, or admit him to Utah Valley Regional to be watched. Something inside of me made me feel like he needed to be admitted, so we took him over to Utah Valley about 10:30pm. He has had a total of 6 breathing treatments now, just got some motrin for his fever of 103.9 and had to be on oxygen this morning because his levels dropped. I think they will probably end up keeping him overnight again tonight.

I feel so bad for him, but he really tries to be in a good mood and is so cute. He talks to all the nurses and doctors when they come and tries to get up and play in the crib and walk around. The little flannel hospital jammie bottoms they have on him keep coming off when he walks around and he has patches on his cheeks where they attached the oxygen. I really hope he feels better soon so I can take him home where he is comfortable.

New Years Resolution....

Ok, so everyone's New Years resolution is always to lose weight, but this year that is NOT the case for me. My New Year's resolution is to EAT LESS SALT! Wish me luck...oh this is going to be a hard one!

What is your New Years resolution?